As someone who has suffered childhood trauma, I know firsthand how damaging it can be to a child’s development. Whether the abuse was emotional, physical, or sexual, it leaves lasting scars that can impact a person for years to come.
Growing up in an abusive environment, my only option was to focus on the outside world, and I lost the ability to look inward and develop a strong sense of self-worth. My dependency needs were not being met, and as a result, I developed a wounded inner child that continues to affect me today.
The abuse I experienced stunted my emotional growth, leaving me struggling to express my feelings of anger and pain. My needs were constantly rejected and belittled, leaving me feeling powerless and alone. To cope, I developed a false self, pretending to be someone I wasn’t in order to survive.
Now, as an adult, I have struggled with self-esteem and identity issues. I have found it difficult to communicate my needs and set boundaries with others, and I often feel like I’m carrying a wounded inner child with me wherever I go.
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But I know that healing is possible. By looking deeply into my past and exploring the ways in which my childhood trauma has affected me, I can begin to work towards healing and personal growth. With the help of a supportive therapist or life coach, I can develop a stronger sense of self-worth and learn to communicate my needs and set healthy boundaries with others. I may always carry the scars of my childhood trauma, but I know that I have the strength to heal and live a fulfilling life.
If you’ve never experienced love and have low self-esteem, being intimate with a partner can be a challenge. Trusting others can also be difficult, as can communicating effectively if you don’t know who you are. It’s easy to get lost in your own thoughts and emotions, unsure of what you truly need, and you may find yourself having tantrums or turning to destructive behaviors to cope with the hurt.
The root of the problem lies in the wounded child that lives deep within your soul. As survivors of childhood trauma, we often revert back to childish behaviors in response to certain events, because we never learned healthy ways to cope or had our emotional needs met.
But the good news is that it’s never too late to heal. By addressing the hurt that lies within and working with a therapist or life coach, we can learn to break free from these destructive patterns and behaviors. We can learn to build our self-esteem and develop healthy ways of communicating and relating to others.
It won’t be an easy journey, but with time and effort, we can learn to heal the wounded child within us and live a more fulfilling life. It’s important to remember that we deserve love and happiness, and with the right support and tools, we can achieve it.
There is a wealth of literature available to help survivors of trauma and abuse heal from within by accessing their “inner child.” John Bradshaw, a New York Times bestselling author and a pioneer in the self-help movement, was one of the first to explore this concept. His research, books, and lectures on healing our inner child remain invaluable resources today.
While Bradshaw’s insights have yet to be fully integrated into the treatment of complex PTSD, his work has helped many people find healing by delving deep into their souls and repairing the damage at the source. His lectures, available on YouTube and DVD, are informative and inspiring, and his passion for helping others is palpable.
As someone who has personally benefited from Bradshaw’s research, I can attest to its value. His work has helped me understand my flashbacks and the impact of my trauma on my character. With his insights, I am able to take charge of my own healing journey and make progress on my own, while still seeking the support of a therapist as needed.
Overall, the concept of healing our inner child is a powerful one, and John Bradshaw’s contributions to the field are immeasurable. His work has helped countless survivors find healing and hope, and his legacy continues to inspire and inform today.
Living with Complex PTSD is a struggle that survivors understand all too well. For many, the condition can persist for years, or even decades. Flashbacks can strike at any moment, causing survivors to relive past trauma. Nevertheless, most survivors are resilient and continue to push forward. However, life is unpredictable, and setbacks can still occur. The trauma of sexual abuse and other forms of trauma is like the grieving process, but instead of mourning the loss of a loved one, survivors are mourning the loss of their shattered soul.
Initially, many survivors experience disbelief and shock that the trauma even happened. They may enter a phase of denial, convincing themselves that the abuse never occurred. However, the guilt and pain eventually catch up with them, leaving them feeling numb. They recognize that the abuse took place, and it continues to hurt. Survivors may go through a bargaining phase, becoming angry at their abusers and those who could have intervened. It is not uncommon for survivors to enter a deep depression, as they come to terms with the reality of their experiences.
Eventually, survivors must accept that the abuse occurred during their childhood. They need to acknowledge that they were abused in the worst possible way, but they still managed to survive. Acceptance is not easy, but it is a crucial step towards healing. Survivors must learn to live with the effects of the trauma, but they can also find ways to move forward. With time, patience, and support from loved ones and professionals, survivors can learn to cope with their past experiences and find hope for the future.
The healing process is similar to grieving, as survivors mourn the loss of their shattered soul. Survivors must accept the reality of their experiences and come to terms with the fact that they were abused in the worst possible way. While it may not be easy, there is hope for healing, and with the right support, survivors can find a way to move forward.
There are numerous methods available to help survivors with Complex PTSD. As survivors ourselves, many of us are familiar with psychotherapy or talk therapy, which involves discussing our experiences and feelings with a trained therapist. We may have also explored other treatments within therapy, such as trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and even hypnosis. Some of us have even tried non-traditional therapies, like theatre, movement, mindfulness, and yoga.
In addition to therapy, medications can also be used to alleviate the symptoms of CPTSD, such as antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and anti-psychotic medications. However, the effectiveness of these treatments varies depending on the individual and their symptoms. Each of us has a unique background and experiences, which have shaped us into the people we are today. As a result, our healing processes are also individualized and unique.
I have conducted extensive research on understanding and healing the “inner child.” This involves revisiting the traumatic moments and providing the child within us with the love and reassurance they needed at that time. It also requires acknowledging that our developmental and fundamental needs were not met due to the abuse, which has greatly affected our present lives. This realization has helped me understand myself and my behaviors on a deeper level.
Many survivors have attempted to heal from within by connecting with their traumatized inner child. This process entails revisiting the time of the trauma and identifying the wounded child within us. We must grieve with our younger selves for the horrendous experiences and the neglect and ignorance that we suffered as a result of the abuse. We must also ask ourselves what it feels like at that moment and what our wounded selves require from us.
If we could go back in time as the adults we are today, what should have happened instead of the abuse? We should strive to reach out and communicate with our “inner child,” reassuring them that they are loved and will be safe in the future.
Healing your inner child takes time. It is not something that can be rushed and it is painful. It is the most effective when going through each developmental hurt one at a time. Focus on how that pain and to hurt affected you and how it is still affecting you now as an adult. Never rush healing.
Inner Child literature, all available on Amazon.com:
- John Bradshaw, Healing The Shame That Binds You
- John Bradshaw, Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child
- Cathryn Taylor, Inner Child Workbook: What to do with Your past when it Just won’t go away
- Mary McDonald, The Inner Child Workbook: Recovering your Inner child
- Maria Clarke, Healing Your Wounded Inner Child: A CBT Workbook to Overcome Past Trauma, Face Abandonment and Regain Emotional Stability.
- Faye Mack, Reclaiming Your inner child: Wounded or not
- Robert Jackman: Healing Your Lost Inner Child
- Don Barlow, Inner Child Recovery Work with Radical Self compassion